So, It's actually July 17, 2012. I originally posted this back in April, I think, and then took it down. I took it down because I wasn't sure if it was how I felt, what I thought, but that is part of "wine o'clock". In the moment, uninhibited. So, I've chosen not to edit, not to delete later when wine o'clock ends. To bravely leave it. Just as it is. So here it is.
I was talking with a great friend about my "troubles" with one of my children. Each of us has one child the same age. I was mentioned a book I was reading to try to get some guidance, relief, help, all of the above, knowing it was me who needed to "figure it out". It's called "The Parent's Tao Te Ching". I told her I would post something from it. This is a dear friend and as I was looking through the book to find the right passage for her and it was passage #35. I chose this passage not because I think it's what she should do that she may not be but because it's to remind her( if she needs it) that what she does naturally is good. The next passage is for me # 36. To remind me that what I naturally feel is good too. It's curious that they are next to each other #35 and #36. So... I will copy them below. Again these are from "The Parent's Tao Te Ching" by William Martin.
#35
MAKE THE ORDINARY COME ALIVE
Do not ask your children
to strive for extraordinary lives.
Such striving may seem admirable,
but it is a way of foolishness.
Help them instead to find the wonder
and the marvel of an ordinary life.
Show them the joy of tasting
tomatoes, apples, and pears.
Show them how to cry
when pets and people die.
Show them the infinite pleasure
in the touch of a hand.
And make the ordinary come alive for them.
The extraordinary will take care of itself
You will have to constantly contend
with the pressure for ever more,
and ever bigger,
that culture seeks to impose
on your children
and you.
It take courage and discipline
to go slow,
live simply,
and see clearly.
But the rewards are great.
What ordinary thing can you do together today?
#36
OPPOSITES ARE NECESSARY
If you want your children to be generous,
you must first allow them to be selfish.
If you want them to be discplined,
you must first allow them to be spontaneous.
If you want them to be hard-working,
You must first allow them to be lazy.
This is a subtle distinction,
and hard to explain to those who criticize you.
A quality cannot be fully learned
without understanding its opposite.
All your friends,
(especially the grandparents)
will tell you this is nonsense.
But look carefully inside of yoursellf.
Only the child with a strong sense of self
can be truly generous.
Only the child who discovers his or her bliss
will truly work hard.
Most of what passes as discipline and hard work
is an overlay of coerced behavior.
It has no authentic power or joy.
Only the lazy, undisciplined dreamer
can discover within the source of true dicipline
that will bring great success.
There is so much in this book that can apply at different times to parents in learning about their children and themselves.
I am so grateful to have my children in my life. They are truly a blessing from God. I think I have learned and will continue to learn to be a better, happier person because of what they teach me about life and myself than I ever could without them. They bring me such JOY!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Silent Night
"Silent Night"is one of my favorite Christmas Songs and Sinead O'connors version is so beautiful. .It's first on my playlist. I love listening to it on Christmas Eve after everyone's tucked in bed and it's me, the Christmas tree, a glass of Champagne. Give it a listen and have a beautiful Christmas.
Monday, October 17, 2011
What's beyond your door?
"I could see Ida's house in the distance, and it was always refreshing to me; just the sight of it made me breathe a little easier. I knew that beyond her door judgment rested its case and peace came easy."
This is a passage from a book I just finished called The Miracle of Mercy Land and Mercy, the main character, is talking about her Aunt Ida's house. How great to have a door like that to walk through. I think we all could use a door like that. A place where judgment rests its case and peace comes easy.
I'm thinking of doors and people in my life. How grateful I am to have them.
Then I think how great it would be to actually be that door for someone else. To be the door that puts someone at ease. Then I think....... what do people feel when they come through my door or come into my presence. Does peace come easy?
Now, I know there are situations and relationships that require judgments of one kind or another but still, for those that don't and for the times that don't, especially difficult times, times when someone is struggling, times when difficult conversations need to happen, does my presence, or the anticipation of it, increase or decrease the likelihood of "peace" for that person? Do they "breathe a little easier" knowing they're coming to my door?
And then I started thinking about what kind of behavior would create an environment of peace and ease. Well one important part is right there in the passage: "judgment rests its case" Rest the judgment.
What else?
Acceptance
Not taking things personal
Love
Empathy
Mercy
I do alot of thinking at wine o'clock.
What do you think?
This is a passage from a book I just finished called The Miracle of Mercy Land and Mercy, the main character, is talking about her Aunt Ida's house. How great to have a door like that to walk through. I think we all could use a door like that. A place where judgment rests its case and peace comes easy.
I'm thinking of doors and people in my life. How grateful I am to have them.
Then I think how great it would be to actually be that door for someone else. To be the door that puts someone at ease. Then I think....... what do people feel when they come through my door or come into my presence. Does peace come easy?
Now, I know there are situations and relationships that require judgments of one kind or another but still, for those that don't and for the times that don't, especially difficult times, times when someone is struggling, times when difficult conversations need to happen, does my presence, or the anticipation of it, increase or decrease the likelihood of "peace" for that person? Do they "breathe a little easier" knowing they're coming to my door?
And then I started thinking about what kind of behavior would create an environment of peace and ease. Well one important part is right there in the passage: "judgment rests its case" Rest the judgment.
What else?
Acceptance
Not taking things personal
Love
Empathy
Mercy
I do alot of thinking at wine o'clock.
What do you think?
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Fear & Truth & Courage
What if the truth you seek is covered by so much fear you can't get to it. You know it's there but you are too scared to see it. To see what you think it could be, whether it is or not. How do you remove the fear?
Maybe you don't, or can't remove it, but can you face it and proceed? Well, of course, that's known as Courage.
I looked up the definition of courage and Dictionary.com defines courage as "the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear".
Wait-What? I thought Courage was having fear and proceeding in the face of it. I looked up some quotes on courage and found this:
Rosanne Cash
Maybe it is just that simple. Let go. Then I found this:
Stanley (Jack) Rachman, in his book Fear and Courage, offers an alternative view. According to this view, courage is the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc. despite anxiety or fear. That is, if one does not experience anxiety or fear about doing something then it is easy to do and does not require courage or strength
.
So, which is it ? To not have fear because you let go of it in faith.....
Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
American Civil Rights Leader
Or...
to proceed in the face of fear? Maybe it's both.
I read this piece of advice recently:
"Face each new situation with courage and optimism, that will make all the difference."
I love the addition of optimism. ( a disposition or tendency to look on the more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.) It makes it easier somehow.
“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We're afraid.”
“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.
Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918
French Poet, Philosopher
Maybe you don't, or can't remove it, but can you face it and proceed? Well, of course, that's known as Courage.
I looked up the definition of courage and Dictionary.com defines courage as "the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear".
Wait-What? I thought Courage was having fear and proceeding in the face of it. I looked up some quotes on courage and found this:
“The key to change... is to let go of fear.”
Rosanne CashMaybe it is just that simple. Let go. Then I found this:
Stanley (Jack) Rachman, in his book Fear and Courage, offers an alternative view. According to this view, courage is the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc. despite anxiety or fear. That is, if one does not experience anxiety or fear about doing something then it is easy to do and does not require courage or strength
.
So, which is it ? To not have fear because you let go of it in faith.....
Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
American Civil Rights Leader
Or...
to proceed in the face of fear? Maybe it's both.
I read this piece of advice recently:
"Face each new situation with courage and optimism, that will make all the difference."
I love the addition of optimism. ( a disposition or tendency to look on the more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.) It makes it easier somehow.
təˌmɪz
“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We're afraid.”
“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.
Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918
French Poet, Philosopher
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
My good friend
Wine o'clock
Just had a good friend leave this earth this morning. Sometimes you don't realize just how good a friend is till they're gone. A beautiful, strong, and I mean strong, funny, truly caring authentic women who I admire and love. I think of her wonderful boys and husband and ache for their loss. My love and prayers are with you. Her family and friends too. She was so friendly; genuinely friendly. She had so many friends. She was a rebel too; in the best sense. She taught me a lot: To, as she would say "Go for it!" I still don't do that enough. To be brave. To stand up for yourself, always with love. She was fun loving! This is a women who would do cartwheels down the isle of her office! Always striving to do her best. She was amazing. She could dance. She was real.
I miss her.
I am reminded again of this prayer and whatever you believe to be thankful for the ones we love and the time we have with them.
Dear God,
thank You for my loved ones, and for choosing me from all others to love and care for them. Fill me with Your Spirit to share Your warmth and love with my dear ones, and bless them with Your joy, peace, and grace. May we come someday as one family to live with You forever in heaven.
Amen
Just had a good friend leave this earth this morning. Sometimes you don't realize just how good a friend is till they're gone. A beautiful, strong, and I mean strong, funny, truly caring authentic women who I admire and love. I think of her wonderful boys and husband and ache for their loss. My love and prayers are with you. Her family and friends too. She was so friendly; genuinely friendly. She had so many friends. She was a rebel too; in the best sense. She taught me a lot: To, as she would say "Go for it!" I still don't do that enough. To be brave. To stand up for yourself, always with love. She was fun loving! This is a women who would do cartwheels down the isle of her office! Always striving to do her best. She was amazing. She could dance. She was real.
I miss her.
I am reminded again of this prayer and whatever you believe to be thankful for the ones we love and the time we have with them.
Dear God,
thank You for my loved ones, and for choosing me from all others to love and care for them. Fill me with Your Spirit to share Your warmth and love with my dear ones, and bless them with Your joy, peace, and grace. May we come someday as one family to live with You forever in heaven.
Amen
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Just for fun!
I'm still working on the "Change" thing but............
I Love Erin Smith!!
Thank you Deb for the "thought of the day"!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Only love is real? Really?
Wine O'clock. I love it!
I just went on a music spree and purchased 10 new songs one of which is "Only Love" Melissa Etheridge.
I was loving this song and then I thought "Really?" Is that true for the people who are suffering in the world? I mean the homeless, the hungry, people without country, the hopeless. People who are truly suffering. I guess we all have our own suffering. In that moment of suffering, whatever that might be for you and me, do you come to the this truth? "Only Love is Real."
What a beautiful song. A "Thin Moment" for me always made more possible with the help of wineo"clock. That right side of the brain that I love to dwell in!
I love the line "Everything you feel That's what your world is made of" So true for me. Yet feelings can be deceiving. Leading us down the wrong path.
Another lyric: "We are in charge of our own dreams We have more power than it seems so look around"
Is so great. To me it implies choice.
So..........What are your thoughts? Below are the lyrics. It's the first song on my playlist.
It takes me so long to understand sometimes
Why it's so hard to understand sometimes
It takes me two or three times sometimes
To, to try to get it right sometimes, to get it right
I've got some coins in my pocket
And I've got a colored TV
It's gotten so complicated now
What does it mean to be free?
Only love is real
Everything is love
Everything you feel
That's what your world is made of
And when I take a good look around I see
My thoughts are coming back to me so look around
We are in charge of our own dreams
We have more power than it seems so look around
Come on, now, show me who you're loving, yeah
Then show me just who you hate
Then I can show you all your angels, yeah
That guard your heaven's gate
Only love is real
Everything is love
Everything you feel
That's what your world is made of, yeah
Only love is real
Everything is love
Everything you feel
That's what your world is made of, yeah
That's what your world is made of
That's what your world is made of
Only love, everything, everything you feel
That's what your world
That's what your world is made of
Only love
I just went on a music spree and purchased 10 new songs one of which is "Only Love" Melissa Etheridge.
I was loving this song and then I thought "Really?" Is that true for the people who are suffering in the world? I mean the homeless, the hungry, people without country, the hopeless. People who are truly suffering. I guess we all have our own suffering. In that moment of suffering, whatever that might be for you and me, do you come to the this truth? "Only Love is Real."
What a beautiful song. A "Thin Moment" for me always made more possible with the help of wineo"clock. That right side of the brain that I love to dwell in!
I love the line "Everything you feel That's what your world is made of" So true for me. Yet feelings can be deceiving. Leading us down the wrong path.
Another lyric: "We are in charge of our own dreams We have more power than it seems so look around"
Is so great. To me it implies choice.
So..........What are your thoughts? Below are the lyrics. It's the first song on my playlist.
It takes me so long to understand sometimes
Why it's so hard to understand sometimes
It takes me two or three times sometimes
To, to try to get it right sometimes, to get it right
I've got some coins in my pocket
And I've got a colored TV
It's gotten so complicated now
What does it mean to be free?
Only love is real
Everything is love
Everything you feel
That's what your world is made of
And when I take a good look around I see
My thoughts are coming back to me so look around
We are in charge of our own dreams
We have more power than it seems so look around
Come on, now, show me who you're loving, yeah
Then show me just who you hate
Then I can show you all your angels, yeah
That guard your heaven's gate
Only love is real
Everything is love
Everything you feel
That's what your world is made of, yeah
Only love is real
Everything is love
Everything you feel
That's what your world is made of, yeah
That's what your world is made of
That's what your world is made of
Only love, everything, everything you feel
That's what your world
That's what your world is made of
Only love
Sunday, April 10, 2011
"Love without Conditions"
So I've been reading a book called "Love without conditions" by Paul Ferrini. Is it weird, serendipitous, or an answer to prayer that I had been struggling and I "stumbled" on this book in the course of my daily activities? There was a statement on the front page of the book from a name I recognized from my psychology classes in collage.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. "The most important books I have read. I study them like a Bible."
There is so much in this book. I will have to read again. Here are just a few exerts:
Each of us has a tiny spark of light that illuminates the darkness of our unconsciousness. this is the divine spark of awareness which keeps our connection with God alive.
Love is stronger than fear. Do not underestimate the degree to which your world is created out of fear.
Judgment falls away, acceptance rules.
Cause and Effect are not linear and sequential. They manifest simultaneously. They are circular in nature. Not only does cause determine effect, but effect determines cause.
Relinquishing Effort:
If you want to understand what happens in your life, stop giving it your own meaning. Let the situation be. Feel it fully. Allow it to teach you why it has come into your life. If you want to come right to the center of it, ask "how does this situation help me learn to love more fully? What does it ask me to give that I am still withholding?'
Two very insightful questions! Most recently my answer to the second question was acceptance.
wineoclock
I
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. "The most important books I have read. I study them like a Bible."
There is so much in this book. I will have to read again. Here are just a few exerts:
Each of us has a tiny spark of light that illuminates the darkness of our unconsciousness. this is the divine spark of awareness which keeps our connection with God alive.
Love is stronger than fear. Do not underestimate the degree to which your world is created out of fear.
Judgment falls away, acceptance rules.
Cause and Effect are not linear and sequential. They manifest simultaneously. They are circular in nature. Not only does cause determine effect, but effect determines cause.
Relinquishing Effort:
If you want to understand what happens in your life, stop giving it your own meaning. Let the situation be. Feel it fully. Allow it to teach you why it has come into your life. If you want to come right to the center of it, ask "how does this situation help me learn to love more fully? What does it ask me to give that I am still withholding?'
Two very insightful questions! Most recently my answer to the second question was acceptance.
wineoclock
I
It Is What It Is
Real time 3-15-11
Life is sometimes hard and painful and no amount of wine or fluffy talk or inspirational words will change that.
Life is sometimes hard and painful and no amount of wine or fluffy talk or inspirational words will change that.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Truth & Dicipline
Wine O'clock.
I finally watched the movie version of "Eat Pray Love" and it was disappointing as I new it would be, except for two things. A song by Eddie Vedder at the end credits and an idea she(the author) calls Quest Physics. It's at the very end of the movie. I don't remember it in the book, but I really like it. I wanted to share it with "all of you".
A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of quest physics goes something like this:
If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comfortable which can be anything from your house to bitter old resentments and set out on a truth seeking journey either externally or internally and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, the truth will not be withheld from you
Also, because music is often a "thin place" for me, here are the lyrics to "Better Days" by Eddie Vedder. It's the first song on my playlist.
I feel part of the universe open up to meet me
My emotion so submerged broken down to kneel in
Once listening the voices they came
Had to somehow greet myself read myself
Heard vibrations within my cells in my cells
Singing "Ah-la-ah-ah ah-la-ah-ah"
My love is safe for the universe
See me now I'm bursting
On one planet so many turns
Different worlds
Singing "Ah-la-ah-ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah"
(Spanish guitar solo)
Fill my heart with discipline
Put there for the teaching
In my head see clouds of stairs
Help me as I'm reaching
The future's paved with better days
Not running from something
I'm running towards the day
Wide awake
A whisper once quiet
Now rising to a scream
Right in me
I'm falling free falling
Words calling me
Up off my knees
I'm soaring and darling
You'll be the one that I can need
Still be free
Our future's paved with better days
I finally watched the movie version of "Eat Pray Love" and it was disappointing as I new it would be, except for two things. A song by Eddie Vedder at the end credits and an idea she(the author) calls Quest Physics. It's at the very end of the movie. I don't remember it in the book, but I really like it. I wanted to share it with "all of you".
A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of quest physics goes something like this:
If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comfortable which can be anything from your house to bitter old resentments and set out on a truth seeking journey either externally or internally and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, the truth will not be withheld from you
Also, because music is often a "thin place" for me, here are the lyrics to "Better Days" by Eddie Vedder. It's the first song on my playlist.
I feel part of the universe open up to meet me
My emotion so submerged broken down to kneel in
Once listening the voices they came
Had to somehow greet myself read myself
Heard vibrations within my cells in my cells
Singing "Ah-la-ah-ah ah-la-ah-ah"
My love is safe for the universe
See me now I'm bursting
On one planet so many turns
Different worlds
Singing "Ah-la-ah-ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah"
(Spanish guitar solo)
Fill my heart with discipline
Put there for the teaching
In my head see clouds of stairs
Help me as I'm reaching
The future's paved with better days
Not running from something
I'm running towards the day
Wide awake
A whisper once quiet
Now rising to a scream
Right in me
I'm falling free falling
Words calling me
Up off my knees
I'm soaring and darling
You'll be the one that I can need
Still be free
Our future's paved with better days
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